Second in a series of weekly columns from Nigel Jones, UKIP’s PPC for sunny Eastbourne by the sea, as illustrated.

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EU CLUB PUTS OUT THE ‘UNWELCOME’  MAT

The comic Groucho Marx once said that he would refuse to join any club that would have him as a member.

 

It’s a pity that Britain’s treacherous ruling elite didn’t take that advice to heart when they first applied to join the ‘club’ that now calls itself the EU.

 

For the Common Market/ EEC/ EC/EU – (and tomorrow the USE?) –  supposedly came into existence to join the disparate, once warring nations of Europe into one big, touchy-feely, warm and gooey happy family.

 

So, if it really was like that, we would be happily guzzling port and snoozing in our leather armchairs, and our membership of the club with all its malign consequences after 40-odd years would not be the sorest  and most  contentious issue in British politics.

 

The reality of the club, however, is that it resembles a bagful of starving ferrets with sharpened teeth and claws – and those are usually tearing at one target: us.

 

Here’s just one example (though they happen daily). Tuesday’s edition of Radio Four’s ‘The World Tonight’ contained a vox-pop about Britain’s future in the EU in the context of the Juncker saga from the BBC’s Berlin correspondent,  Stephen Evans. Everyone who Evans spoke to – pollsters, politicians and members of the German public –  showed at best complete contempt for our ‘little island’  (as they insultingly called it)  – and at worst, open hatred. 

 

One German gent, almost spitting his bile out with what must have been very sour kraut, said: ‘If they don’t want to be part of the European nation – let them go!’

 

Thank Evans: this was one of the most revealing items I have heard on the BBC in many a long day. It’s time the pfennig dropped. They don’t like us. They never have and they never will. So why should we remain members and paying exorbitant fees, to a club who don’t want to have us around? It is as daft as it is demeaning.

Liberal Democrat leadership hustings

LIES, DAMN LIES, AND LIB DEMS

 They used to say that there are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

 

This wise old saw should be amended slightly in the light of Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander’s dire warning in Washington that leaving the EU could cost around three million British jobs.

 

Now the saying should read: ‘There are lies, damn lies – and Liberal Democrats’.

 

By a curious coincidence the three million scare story statistic that Alexander trotted out – allegedly based on a new Treasury analysis – is precisely the same figure that Alexander and his Lib Dem party colleagues have been trying to terrify us with for years, based on an 11-year old Treasury analysis. Nick Clegg even dared to use it in his disastrous TV debate with Nigel Farage – and was instantly shot down in flames for doing so.

 

And it has been utterly discredited for about as long – even by its alleged author.

 

Diplomats are said to be people prepared to go abroad and lie for their country.

 

Liberal Democrat politicians are clearly people prepared to go abroad (or anywhere for that matter) and lie about their country.

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A FEAST OF A FESTIVAL

I’m packing the Bell Tent and camping gear for a trip to Wiltshire this weekend to attend the Chalke Valley History Festival – (www.cvhf.org.uk) – and I’d like to give it a plug.

 

Set in lovely countryside (I’m a fan of our South Downs here in Sussex – but the Wiltshire Downs run them a close second) the festival is Britain’s biggest devoted entirely to history.

 

There are fly-pasts of Spitfires and Hurricanes from WW2, military re-enactors, and starry speakers galore (my partner and daughter are getting very excited about the prospect of meeting ‘Band of Brothers’ and ‘Homeland’ star Damian Lewis).

 

I’m debating World War One in this centenary year with Conservative columnist Simon Heffer.

Weirdly, for writers of our generation, we both had fathers and uncles who fought in that conflict.

We also passionately disagree about whether British should have joined the war.

 

So, let battle commence…

 

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