UKIP leader Nigel Farage really should give Nicholas Boles some sort of award. A golden foot tastefully mounted in a mouth, perhaps, in gratitude for his sterling services to UKIP recruitment.
Despite – or because of – the fact that he is the son of a former Chairman of the National Trust, and in direct contradiction of his day job as ‘Communities and Planning Minister’ the ineffable Boles has gone far out of his way to alienate the very people whose interests he is supposedly looking after : those who live in the rapidly disappearing English countryside, and the equally diminishing number of poor lost souls who still support Boles’ misnamed ‘Conservative’ party.
First, he stoutly spoke up on behalf of wind turbines : those monstrously ugly, ruinously expensive and utterly useless and unwanted additions to our once green and pleasant land. Then – quite coincidentally of course – when it was revealed that his brother worked had in the wind turbine industry Boles was stripped of responsibility for wind farms lest there be too obvious a conflict of interest.
Next, Boley boy went in to bat for the destruction of the Green Belt. Concreting over these open spaces around our towns and cities was the way to go to make box homes for the hordes of immigrants the Government is letting in, he announced, because ‘buildings can be beautiful too’.
It would take a whole congress of clinical psychologists to uncover just what perverse process in Mr Boles’ Winchester-, Oxford- and Harvard- educated brain makes him hate his country and despise the people who live in it so deeply that, rather than conserve its beauties, he wants to destroy them.
But not content with verbally defecating on rural Britain from a great height, Mr Boles, an uber-posh boy from a background of undiluted privilege, has now turned his attention on his own benighted party. This week, those loose lips of his have opened to make another of his devastating attacks on his fellow Tories. And, by accident or design, he has openly admitted what we have long suspected and given Dave’s game away. The ‘Conservatives’ are no longer Conservative.
Recognising that the Tory ‘brand’ is now even more hated than it was when he, Dave, and their merry modernising men set out to ‘de-toxify’ it, Boles proposes changing the party’s name. Since the reality is that the Cameroon Conservatives have failed to conserve anything, Boles suggests that they admit that they are closer to their Coalition partners the Lib Dems than they are to true Tories, and call themselves ‘National Liberals’ instead.
Finally, says Mr Boles – clearly a man on a mission to enrage those few Tories whose noses he has not yet got up – its time for the party to embrace the full left-liberal agenda and come out of the closet where it has been hiding, pretending to be Conservative. Unless they ‘shout from the rooftops’ about their proudest achievement (gay marriage) he says, they risk alienating the young who already think that Tories come from another planet – and would never consider voting Conservative.
But I have news for delusional Mr Boles: its not only the young who won’t be voting for his moribund party, its all the other age groups whom he insufferably patronises too. Not having any kids himself, Bolsey is clearly unaware that the young are not the paragons of social liberalism that be believes : quite the opposite in fact. Young people – just like older people – care first and foremost about the future of themselves and their families. Their prime concern is not gay marriage, but whether they will have a job and whether their country will still be worth living in. On both these counts, Mr Boles is far from reassuring.
The nightmare world that Boles envisages : a concrete jungle swarming with illegal immigrants, (except for the gated neighbourhoods where Boles and his wealthy pals will live of course) – is not exactly an attractive proposition. With snobbish, elitist views like his, it is easy to see why – amidst fierce competition – Nicholas Boles is the Camerloon we most love to loathe.
Now, Mr Boles has drawn a lot of flak for the poisonous nonsense he has spouted since appointing himself his master Dave’s voice. I think, however, he should be commended at least for his honesty. Cut off by his upbringing, wealth and social class from the real world where most of us live, he believes – he truly does believe – that he represents the face of the future, instead of the prejudices of a narrow, out-of-touch metropolitan minority of wealthy spivs.
But we in UKIP should be grateful to Mr Boles: he is, as I say, the best recruiting sergeant that our party has got. If he really believes that the Tory party needs to abolish itself in order to fool people into voting for it, so be it. UKIP will be very happy to fill the void left by the incredible disappearing Tories. Now, in the words of Winston Churchill, one of those old Conservatives who Boles wants to airbrush from history, ‘Let us go forward together and put these grave matters to the test’. The test, that is, of the national elections in May 2014 and 2015.