Another day, another stabbing, shooting, moped mugging, acid attack, gang or drug incident … And more often than not, when we see the perpetrators (and often victims), we hear a tale of a young man brought up without a father. We see the mother trying to fathom the mess her out-of-control son has made of his life. It’s not always the case of course, but more often that not it is. Especially when talking about violent street crime … and mostly in busy cities like our capital: rudderless young males joining gangs at tender young ages and engaging in more and more violent crime and anti-social behaviour.
The most shocking incident lately was the story we awoke to the other morning, of a young 7-year-old boy being burnt to death in his home. As the day went on we learned that it was gang related – a revenge attack. We saw the distraught mother in the news. Where was the father? Who knows …
The mother later laid the blame at the feet of her other son – probably the real target of the arsonist – a young man who had been released from prison on a gang related drug crime. She said his lifestyle of drugs and crime had brought the arson attack into their home and was directly responsible for the death of his young brother. Of course she is right. Poor woman, poor dead son. But also, poor family … imagine how the older brother must have felt when he heard that. And where, as I say, is the husband and father?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to place responsibility for what happened onto anyone other than the arsonist and perhaps the brother who was caught up in a gang revenge situation. There comes a point in our lives when we must take responsibility for our actions and the consequences on ourselves and those around us.
What I am saying is that if we want to somehow stop all this and deal with it, we have to look at cause and effect. For so long now society has been dumbed down. We are told that children no longer need traditional families – that a mum and dad and family unit are unnecessary. That we can do it any way we see fit and no one has the right to tell us any different. We are to believe that boys and girls do not need role models or father figures in their lives, and that no child must be stereotyped or brought up in any particular way. And yet … I cannot help but notice that most of these young men who get into so much trouble never seem to have a father or even a father figure standing in front of the cameras as the press try to find out what happened. Surely there is a link? Of course there is!
Before the late 70s and early 80s it was extremely frowned upon for young women to have a baby before marriage, whether in a relationship or not. Accidents happened, yes, and you either got married, gave the baby up, or the family brought it up as your sibling. Sad, I know, but it meant the traditional family survived and the majority of children grew up in a secure home.
I’m not asking you to look through rose-tinted spectacles either. I know there were still unhappy homes, divorces (mainly among the wealthy), bereavements and so on, but it wasn’t the norm to bring children up without a father, and certainly not an outright intention. It was the exception rather than the rule.
But now we have whole generations brought up by single mothers, and often the single mothers themselves were brought up by a lone mother as well, and so it perpetuates. I’ve lost count of the number of young men I meet who only have a mum – dad doesn’t seem to figure anywhere.
And I’m not saying we should go back to judging anyone, especially those who find themselves in that situation by no design of their own. But I do believe we should never have let go of the idea that children need two parents and a family unit.
Why did it all change? I guess there are a few reasons: left wing liberal idealists pushing their agenda through schools and universities; ‘feminazis’ (not old school feminists); the dumbing down of society; the undermining of men’s role in society; the habit of blaming white men for everything which is now spreading to all men. The main reason – in my estimation – is the desire to destroy the family and introduce Marxism where the state controls everything: go to work (or go on benefits and just have as many kids as you can), put your children in full time nurseries and after-school clubs and allow the state to influence your children from the day they are born, thus breeding a whole generation of young adults who have no sense of family, discipline, rules or working for what you want.
You either buy into the left-wing ideology or end up on the scrap heap. You’re either a totally spoilt, self-entitled snowflake or a deadbeat that ends up in a gang and then prison. Or worse. I know I’m exaggerating, but you get my point. Even the young and ‘successful’ are in a mess. There seem to be huge spates of young people, especially males, killing themselves if they cannot keep up with what they think they should achieve, but that’s a whole other story.
Next time a mother appears on screen, desperately lamenting what her son has done or his fate at the hands of another young thug, ask yourselves: where is the father? And why on earth did we allow men to be pushed out of the family picture and end up in this mess? Many mothers do a great job on their own of course, but why make it the aim?
We have bred a whole generation of lost young men.
Boys need fathers, and so do girls. But most of all, society needs families with fathers too, now more than ever.