While not wishing to cause readers undue mental anguish, I ask you to recall the dying days of the last Labour government. You will no doubt recall that while Gordon Brown’s reluctance to relax his grasp on power was causing his friends and well wishers to fear for his sanity, he did have the presence of mind to set a fiendish booby trap for any incoming government.
With the scant regard for Britain’s economic well-being that had come to define his time in high office, he raised the top rate of tax to 50p in the pound. Machiavelli was rumoured to have immediately signed up for Brown’s post-PM lucrative lecture tours. This measure would raise little or no extra tax, and would further damage an economy already gripped by a debt-fuelled recession. However it would cause an almighty headache for an incoming Tory government, and that is, of course, the main thing.
Would Dave, George and Nick (aka Dozy, Beaky and Titch) do what was in the best interests of the country and immediately reverse the rise? Or would they bottle it, afraid of accusations from Labour of “tax cuts for the rich”? With the scant regard for Britain’s economic well-being that would come to define the coalition’s time in office, they fudged it. And were still accused of tax cuts for the rich (by a Labour party so stricken with amnesia that they forgot that they had run a lower tax rate for higher earners for 12 and a half of the 13 years they were in power).
This cynical ploy did not go unnoticed by David Cameron. In this, as in everything, Dave is an eager student to Blair and Brown. What an excellent wheeze, he thought. If the unwashed have the almighty gall to not know what’s best for them and they vote for someone other than me, I will fix their wagon alright!
UKIP Daily can exclusively reveal that David Cameron has signed the papers required under Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty for the UK to leave the EU. As a reward for leading the recent grubby attempt to unseat the Speaker of the House, William Hague has been given the honour of personally delivering these signed papers to Brussels. He left Yorkshire under cover of darkness, at midnight on Sunday, the moment Parliament was dissolved. Seated on a sledge, pulled manfully by a British bulldog resplendent in a Union Jack waistcoat, with the signed papers carried St Bernard style in a pouch around its neck, accompanied by the theme tune to Rawhide, Mr Hague is on course to arrive in Brussels on the morning of May 8th.
At the very moment Ed Miliband is declared Prime Minister, William “securing £1million donations for UKIP” Hague will hand over the signed papers to the EU Council, putting the wheels in motion for the UK’s exit from the corrupt, anti-democratic, archaic, wasteful, expensive, oppressive, expansionist, 19th Century isolationist customs union that is the EU. This will cause Mr Miliband a headache. Does he go against the national interest and overturn the move, or does he do the right thing?
While Mr Cameron has only been motivated by naked political self interest (quelle suprise) he must be applauded. It is fitting that his last cynical ploy for once matches the best interest of the British people. After all, even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Photo by stumayhew