Picture a short, chinless man with oily hair, wearing a bad suit, we’ll call him Slippery Mike, stooped on a second-hand car dealer’s forecourt, wringing his hands, trying to convince a clueless punter, Sleepy Liz, to trade her mint condition Rolls Royce for his rusty old French KV Mini 1

Congratulations! You have just visualized Justice Secretary Michael Gove’s ministerial portfolio.

The Rolls Royce in this scenario is the UK’s Common Law, Bill of Rights and democratic legal system. The KV Mini 1 is the EU’s so-called Corpus Juris, the tyrannical body of EU ‘law’ which gives Orwellian sounding ‘judges of freedoms’ absolute control over the life and liberty of more than half a billion people. Sleepy Liz, of course, is us, the people of the UK. And Slippery Mike is UK Justice Minister, Michael Gove.

If we take this scenario as-is, then the question we should be asking ourselves is: are we, the people of the UK, gullible enough and so criminally irresponsible and contemptuous of those who went before us, that we are prepared to trade our Rolls for Slippery Mike’s rusty KV Mini 1? Is it in our best interests to abandon Magna Carta, presumption of innocence, Habeas Corpus and democratic oversight – i.e. the best legal defence of individual rights ever devised in Human history – for the EU’s effective presumption of guilt, and the optional extra of allowing foreign governments to kidnap people from British streets and incarcerate them indefinitely in violent, filthy foreign prisons, without charge, without counsel, without medical care and without visitors?

If you listen to Gove, then we have no choice but to make the trade; austerity dictates that we simply can’t afford to maintain such an expensive and prestigious legal vehicle in this time of financial uncertainty. We are not worthy of such self-indulgence. Gove doesn’t mention that “austerity” is a duplicitous non-word along the lines of “sustainability” and “war on terror,” that he wouldn’t be able to define if you paid him. (You do, and he can’t.)

To fully appreciate the breadth and depth of Gove’s duplicity in this matter, you need only consider his best-of list of protections that he considers essential to the UK’s legal system, as presented in his first major policy announcement, his recent Ein Reich speech to the shady, corporatist and war mongering Legatum Institute.

Fudged facts

It’s your typical used-car salesman’s patter: It begins with an empty platitudinous paean on the economical delights of the KV Mini 1 and the financial burden of the Rolls. Then, facts are fudged. Direct comparisons are avoided. The clean ashtray is extolled, while the crack in the engine block goes unmentioned. He promises “to make our justice system work better for victims”, “to deliver faster and fairer justice for all citizens”, blah, blah, blah, the usual vomitous government reform boilerplate.  You know the routine.

What is most interesting, though, are two things Gove doesn’t consider important enough to place on his must-preserve list, or to even mention, in his speech:

  1. Common Law.
  1. The right to trial by jury.

Did Slippery Mike have a Milliband ‘deficit’ amnesia moment? Unlikely, since his speech was surely approved by Downing Street. So, why would Gove not want to assure us that two of the most fundamental ingredients of UK law are worth maintaining at least as much as is his plan to rehabilitate dope dealers and others, which did make his list?

And why didn’t Slippery Mike point out some of the more controversial specifics in Lord Leveson’s so-called ‘reform’ plan, which is the basis of his ‘own’ reforms, rather than, as he did, vaguely endorse the report’s entirety and move on like he never said a word? Why didn’t Gove mention that he wants to remove the automatic right to a jury trial? Or that he wants to let juries ‘hear’ a trial on a computer tablet? (During the ads in TV soap operas, presumably.) And that he wants criminal hearings conducted via e-mail? And if via e-mail, then why not via Twitter? (#thisguyssoguilty) And why does he want to allow judges to be able to strategically conceal and diminish relevant elements of, and admissible evidence in a trial as a means to leading them by the nose to a verdict via Leveson’s sleazy new ‘Routes to Verdict’ device?

Moreover, why does Gove want to quietly abandon the prudent assumption that all judges are corruptible and must ultimately answer for their actions to – and can be overruled via nullification by – the people they are appointed to judge, even on matters of law?

The answer is simple: Slippery Mike doesn’t want to start a conversation about the wild disparity between the high value of the UK Rolls he wants to relieve us of, and the low value of the French KV Mini 1 he wants to replace it with, and that will certainly fling us upside down into a ditch. Doing so might make us reconsider the transaction and begin a conversation that will inevitably reveal Gove’s underlying obeisance to the EU’s larger plan to install the Corpus Juris EU-wide. The UK has thus far opted out of this abomination, but the government deliberately edges us closer to it daily, most recently via its odious and unnecessary 35 EU crime and policing opt-ins, that include the European Arrest Warrant:

Parliament’s European Scrutiny Committee has been quite clear that [the European Arrest Warrant] means an increase in EU powers which would, ultimately, “diminish the role and function of domestic courts in the UK as well as Parliament”.


Some [EU member] countries have no legal maximum length of pre-trial detention. In some, a person can be held in pre-trial detention for up to four years:

From Section 4.1 of Strengthening mutual trust in the European judicial area – A Green Paper on the application of EU criminal justice legislation in the field of detention.

Nor does Gove, who describes UK law as a service – read ‘privilege’ – the government renders to its people, rather than the unalienable protection of our individual rights it is, want to advertise the fact that his ‘reforms’ are all about standing our legal system on its head by placing the state above the People in court. In the UK, the People are the lawmakers and the state’s job is to administer and, when required, interpret that law. However, (deal with it Gove!) the EU’s Corpus Juris makes unelected foreign bureaucrats, bankers, corporate lobbyists, and technocrats the lawmakers, and gives the People the sole legislative roll of blindly obeying those laws to the letter.

Hobble democracy

This is troubling when you consider that, in the UK, any act that isn’t deemed illegal is de facto legal, but, in the EU, any act that isn’t deemed legal, is de facto illegal. This means that the EU now has under its making and fiat control a growing list of corporate-approved acts we can engage in, with all other acts exposing us to criminal prosecution by the state. The legal power TTIP gives to corporations to sue us if our government democratically makes a law that harms their profits is a good example of how Gove wants to hobble UK democracy and law.

Taking a broader perspective, does it make any sense at all that, while Gove is preparing the ground for introducing possibly the most damaging UK governmental policy in eight centuries, Cameron is flouncing around the EU, pretending to be repatriating UK powers from the EU? Does it make sense that Cameron is apparently opting the UK out of taking in potentially radicalised ‘asylum seekers’ while pushing the country into the position of never being allowed to make such decisions ever again?

Let’s not forget, too, that this is all playing out before the backdrop of Cameron, who is a known liar and traitor, wanting to bin our Bill of Rights and replace it with a new charter authored collaboratively with our friends in Brussels and in the UN.

Call me silly, but I strongly suspect that somebody ain’t telling us the truth.

It’s time for Sleepy Liz – the UK – to snap out of the stupor she has fallen into, jump into her Rolls and lay some rubber out of the EU’s forecourt, never to return, before Slippery Mike and his slippery gang of EU thugs lock the gate on her for good and chuck Sleepy Liz and her Rolls in the crusher.

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