Hello – I’m from the Bralou Party and we are travelling around the country in the Bralou Bear Bus painted in golden fur colour to have nice, non-patronising, conversations with bears, especially lady bears, and to promote bearism and find out what bears really, really, really want. We’re definitely not patronising bears or treating them oddly. As you know there are not many bears in Parliament and so we have pledged to add more bears to party lists in the forthcoming election, and change the law to allow bears to vote for us.

So far our nice, non-patronising, conversation with bears has told us that bears need more time off for picnics in the woods and sleeping. So today we are pledging increased bearternity leave of 12 whole months a year paid for by the government. And to deal with the cost of living crisis affecting bear necessities caused by this government we will also be introducing a free honey allowance of 20 jars a day paid for by the government to give all bears a helping paw.

We’ve also discovered through our bear friendly conversations that there is a crime wave on porridge affecting bear families. So today we are announcing a crackdown on the causes of crime by engaging with known porridge deprived persons, giving away porridge to them paid for by the government and accusing rich people of being responsible for anti-bear behaviour.

We also discovered newly arrived non-working migrant bears are having difficulties finding places to stay. So today we are announcing our Care Bear Spare programme to re-settle bears in privileged homes to be supported by the privileged people who occupy these premises and have lots of spare space. We will regulate how much space they can live their privileged lives in these mansions

We are determined to stamp out bearist objectification (although bears tell us there is no problem, this is because they don’t realise, and we know better). So today we are announcing that we will introduce a law on bearwear; bears will need to have their tops and bottoms covered in public. Magazines showing bare bears will need to be sold in plain covers and carry a health warning. TV programmes will be banned.

VOTE Bralou for Bears

 

 

Photo by ddpool

Print Friendly, PDF & Email