A gentle summer evening on the beach of the main island of the Eastern Islands. Enjoying an evening stew of fish and rabbit flavoured with pomegranate pips and coconut leaves. Visitors from neighbouring islands had swum across to join the fun. One of our number well known for his ability to whittle sticks into alarming shapes and was therefore an artist and therefore wise and much sought after by the ladies, spoke.  “Wouldn’t it be nice to do this every evening,” he said? And wrote on the sands with his stick. “Next evening at 7.30 pm March 29th 2019. Bring your own fermented coconut milk.”

Thus was born the first witless chairman and secretary. Changes, amendments, clarification (demands for), followed thick and fast with in depth receipt.

The joint islands’ control of coconut milk: To prevent one island having more than another,

the islands decision group: This group of Better whittlers of sticks Is best suited to make decisions; and the original whittlers of sticks or stick whittler or finally the Sticklers for obedience

This begins to look like Animal Farm but with the inter-island friction  (The EU), the shortage of woods (CO2), the shortage of rabbits (oil), then rabbits. The shortage of wood becomes replaced by stone heads purported to be of the whittler in stones (sand), and then one family developed long ear lobes (immigrants).  Then the currency (stones) collapses; you can’t eat ’em . They aren’t scarce, at least not in the Easter Islands

And nobody knows why , what has happened, why it happened, how, where, who to blame. Clueless. CLUELESS, secretive, controlling, arrogant, terrified, but greedy, possessive, feral, ‘let us kill each other into extinction’. And the ones who shout loudest are to blame.

So here we are in Britain. Can we have a committee to advise us to act (public dupes) on CO2 and plastic and grouse and pheasant and airtime on BBC. We know we can trust him because they are sticklers for correct procedure. Besides, we know that many of the committees were stuck to buildings and pillars and each other and therefore being noisy, and must therefore, it stands to reason, they must be responsible, thoughtful, and witless. Perfect.

MOTTO. We want, and are willing to strike, for more and bigger stones.

I wonder how many rich American or Russian Chinese or EU oligarchs have an Easter Island head in their private collection. My bet would be dozens.

Phase 1

Committees are lovely.

Warm friendly places where one can meet regularly with like-minded people to gently discuss items that only you can decide.

Happy, warm soothing and we are fulfilling our purpose and giving out our decisions for the good of all.

Nobody notices you are useless, your vote is needed. Your incompetence is hidden. Lovely!

My friend Jenny would like to come. Is that all right? Of course.

And of course you do understand, don’t you? That we all agree to be bound by our committee decisions.

What do you mean a constitution? Who has got the constitution ?  What’s a constitution? What? 20 pages?….That is correct. No one can blame you. It’s a committee of this and that to do this.

I am sorry. It’s best if you don’t disagree. They are very clever. This committee has decided.

Phase 2.

Committees can be useful:

to spread the blame, particularly if you dare not touch it with a barge pole,

to kick the can down the road;

to gather info., question and seek knowledge and finally write reports;

to isolate or generate mutiny;

to disseminate information,

you can put it in your CV,

as a dumping ground for interminable reasoning over old ground by bores and children;

to stop or delay almost anything;

promotion sideways.

Phase 3a

You are the leader.

What do you mean the committee doesn’t agree? What’s it got to do with them? Are they mad? In the constitution? Where did that come from? They wrote it? Another company? Why?  What for?  What d’you mean I did? Surely you don’t believe what I say..? When was that? A constitution?

I resign.

Phase 3b

The scenarios vary: The parent organisation disappears – no income etc – leader has stroke! Used to be known as apoplexy. Very  popular.

Register as a charity.

Issue statements.

Approach G Soros for funding.

Become a marxist think tank

Join the Green Party or SNP

EU provides funding – Just ask!

Appear on Daily Politics.

Join BBC as a celeb.

Comments and Advice – by one who was there.

Never, ever give responsibility and/or authority to a committee. Only to people.

[As sure as God made little apples they will argue with you]

Choose carefully to acquire info. Set cast iron limits.

If there’s more than four people it’ll be run by three.

For God’s sake never pay them, or promote a member. They’ll be tainted.

Photo by antwerpenR

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