Firstly, a warning: the following will exercise your laughter muscles. Also, If you hanker for the usual MSM ‘news’ compilation, go here. In the following I’m looking at a report in the Sunday Times which had me howling with laughter. It’s a great piece to start the week with (emphases are all mine):

Sir Keir Starmer will begin an audacious attempt this week to make Labour the party to stem illegal immigration. He will promise to “smash” the criminal gangs and “bring order to the border”.” (link, paywalled)

How? Well, he’s firstly going to travel to have a chat with Europol, and then to a conference of ‘centre left leaders’ in Montreal where he’ll “argue that they cannot cede the subject of immigration to right-of-centre parties and will call for greater international co-operation to tackle people trafficking.” (link, paywalled). 

That’ll surely help because people will gladly accept policies from the Left and never mind that these policies were denounced for decades as being  ‘extreme-right wing fascist populists and racist’. After all, as always with the Left, “it’s ok when we do it”. Starmer’s plan which he’ll describe to Europol is simply breathtaking. He will:

“Set up a specialist cross-border cell in the National Crime Agency (NCA). This will be paid for by redirecting funds from the government’s Rwanda deportation scheme, which Labour regards as “unworkable”. – Send elite officers to work with border officials of “upstream” countries to disrupt the entire people-smuggling supply chain. – Fund more caseworkers to clear the backlog of asylum claims, which costs taxpayers £6 million a day in hotel and other accommodation bills.” (link, paywalled)

‘Elite officers’? Where are those going to come from? The Home Office? And where are all those ‘case workers’ going to come from? The truly a-ma-zinggg reason for Starmer going to be the saviour in the ‘poor refugees’ crisis is his experience as Director of Public Prosecutions, a post he held from 2008 to 2013.

I recall that during this time the ‘poor refugees’ arrived via Calais, hiding in lorries. I cannot recall Starmer being prominent in any ‘people trafficking case’ as DPP. But now, according to Labour election strategists, this is going to be his and Labour’s trump card. According to a ’senior Labour source’,

Keir is going to use his experience as the former top prosecutor in the country to destroy these gangs. We are going to use every tool in the box. Last year the government only prosecuted half the number of people smugglers than when Keir was DPP.” (link, paywalled)

No, yon source didn’t give any numbers regarding those prosecutions. You will believe Labour, won’t you, especially since there’s this:

“[…] Starmer will argue that the left needs to tackle illegal immigration and accuse right-wing parties of deliberately talking about the problem without solving it, in a effort to make electoral gains.” (link, paywalled)

See – when Labour picks up an issue it’s from the goodness of their hearts and never for ‘electoral gains’! No, don’t ask why they never even mentioned this issue when in opposition.

To crown it all, Labour ‘election’ strategists, using focus groups with ‘hero voters’ – yes, that’s what they’re called and no, nothing is written about who or what yon ‘hero voters are’ – have found that people are indeed worried about immigration. The numbers coming from a poll really ought to give Labour a headache:

“68 per cent of voters said 13 years of Conservative government had been bad for Britain, with just 32 per cent thinking it had been good. But only 32 per cent of voters thought Labour would have done a better job while 27 per cent said they would have been worse and 41 per cent thought they would have done much the same.” (link, paywalled)

Does this mean that, in order to get Starmer into No 10,  suddenly all those voters won’t be vilified for being racist? Interesting. I wonder though how Starmer and his minions will fare when they’ll meet with what Matt Goddwin described as ‘Charity-Judicial Industrial Complex’. I’m sure as former DPP  ‘Keir’ will have a solution ….

That’s all I have for today. I wonder what Saint Tone will have to say to Starmer. After all, it was his infamous policy which opened the floodgates. Have a good day.